Why You’ve Got It All Wrong with Jo Nesbø

Hey you. Yes, you. You’re the one that likes those dark, moody, incredibly violent Norwegian police procedurals.

So you’ve probably been reading Jo Nesbø with his favorite policeman, Harry Hole. And you’ve probably been pronouncing his name as if it were “Joe Nesbow”. Utterly, horribly wrong. The “J” in Norwegian is pronounced like the “J” in German, that is, like a “Y” in English. So it’s not “Joe”, it’s “Yo” as in the Jersey “Yo, Vinnie!”.

And while you might think that that thingummy that looks like an “o” with a slash is pronounced like “oh”, it’s not. It’s actually pronounced like the diphthong “ir” in English, which makes Nesbø not “Nesbow”, but “Nesbir” (kinda like “beer”). So now you can correctly call him Yo Nesbeer to the delight and astonishment of your friends who are likely not to understand you at all.

And while we’re about it, Harry’s last name is not pronounced like “whole”. The final “e” is pronounced like “uh”, so it’s actually more like “Ho – luh”. The audio-book reader of his first novel gets this right.

So now that you’ve been sufficiently chastised, you’ll get it right from now on, right. Yeah, I thought so. Next time we’ll talk about that painter Van Gogh, but then probably no one can correctly pronounce his name who isn’t Belgian.

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Herb and Corn Bread Stuff

A holiday treat for you all, from Gourmet/November 1997

Yield: 16 cups

Ingredients

2 loaves Corn Break (recipe follows)
6 large celery ribs
1 lb onions (about 2 large)
1 pound sliced bacon
1/2 cup mixed fresh herbs (thyme, sage, marjoram)
1 cup chicken broth or turkey stock
1/4 c reserved fat from roast turkey or melted butter

Preparation

Preheat over to 325 and butter a 4-quart baking dish

Cut corn bread into 1/2-inch cubes and dry in 2 large shallow baking pans in over for 20 minutes. Remove from oven.

Coarsely chop celery, onions, and bacon.

Saute bacon in a large, deep skillet until brown. Add celery and onions, and cook, stirring, until vegetables are softened, about 5 minutes. Add herbs and salt and pepper to taste, and cook another couple of minutes.

Toss corn bread and bacon mixture and transfer to baking dish. Drizzle stock or broth over stuffing and bake, covered, 1 hour. Drizzle reserved fat or butter over stuffing and bake uncovered another 30 minutes or so, until top is golden.

Corn Bread

Ingredients

2 c. flour
2 T baking powder
1 t salt
2 c. yellow cornmeal
1/2 c sugar (I use about half this)
2 c milk
2 large eggs
2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter, softened

Preparation

Preheat oven to 400 and butter two 9-by-5-by-3 inch loaf pans.

Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt, whisk in cornmeal and sugar until combined. In a separate bowl, whisk together milk and eggs until combined. Add butter to flour mixture, and with an electric mixer beat until mixture resembles coarse meal. Beat in egg mixture until just combined (batter will be thin).

Pour batter into pans and bake in middle of oven until golden brown and a tester comes out clean, about 50 minutes. Cool in pan on racks for 10 minutes, and then turn bread out to cool completely.

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10 Things You May Not Know About Me

(updated in July 2025

1. Although I’ve spent most of my work life in information technology, my training is in German Studies, and contemporary German literature (well, what was contemporary back when I was studying in the ’70’s). Teaching at the University level is still the job I’ve loved most.

2. I have been involved in the so-called fiber arts for a long time Since retirement, I weave every day. I have, as many weavers do, many looms. My current principal loom is a Louet David II eight-shaft 40 inch floor loom, but I also have an 8 shaft 50cm  Louet Jane table loom, and more recently an AVL computer dobby loom, 16 shafts, 40 inches, with their E-Lift feature. Still learning to use that one. Back in the day (mid 70’s), I did a lot of sewing, including making myself a 3 piece suit.

3. One hobby is collecting clocks, pre-1920 wherever possible, of German/Austrian or Art Nouveau design. Nothing digital, please, that’s not a clock, that’s a chip on the wrist.

4. I also collect German Jugendstil pottery (aka steins, pitchers, and punch bowls), ditto from about 1900 to 1930. I have a few modern pieces, but mostly not. I don’t do character steins, I don’t do regimental, I don’t do Mettlach (but I have a few anyway).

5. I have a passion for cooking, especially Mediterranean and recently Indian. I have a spice drawer from Penzey’s that is deep and extensive.

6. My Myers-Briggs personality type is INTJ. I fight the J (judgmental) part (as it’s not considered nice), but find as I age that becomes increasing difficult.

7. I have bowled a perfect game (300) in league competition.

8. I have holed a 7 iron from 140 yards for an eagle, and my lowest golf score on my home course is 79 (but I’m not able to play anymore).

9. I lived for 2 1/2 years in total in West Berlin, before the Wall came down, and had a number of friends in Berlin (Hauptstadt) as East Berlin was known. I understand from a personal point of view the concept of Ostalgie.eh

10. I had polio as a child (2 1/2 when I contracted it). This was 5 years before the Salk vaccine became available.  At about the age of 48, I started to develop post polio symptoms. I returned to wearing a brace and using crutches in 1998 and was formally diagnosed in 2000. As the years have gone on, it has become worse, and the worsening has accelerated since turning 70. I am now in a motorized wheelchair (as of the last month) and expect to have to stop driving within the next month. You can imagine what I think of the anti-COVID vaccination crowd. In my view, failing to vaccinate children except for cogent medical reasons constitutes child abuse.

11. In January 2023,  I began to find it difficult to walk. Indeed controlling my legs, was becoming increasingly difficult and my lower extremities were becoming numb. When I spoke with my primary care physician in the second week of January, we agreed that I should stop driving because I had insufficient control to do so successfully. Towards the end of that month, it had gotten so bad that I needed hospitalization. I had almost no control over either leg. Doctors were unable to diagnose me successfully. They thought that the weakness was from post polio, and the numbness in my legs was due to my prediabetic condition.  after several months, I finally found a Doctor who was able to diagnose me correctly. I had something known as transverse myelitis.

After treatments physical therapy, and injections, I have recovered sufficiently that my life is much like my life was before the incident. However, I am now truly no longer able to walk much even with crutches. A walker will do for very short distances. I am able to drive, and have been certified by the state as able to do so., but my wife now does most of the driving.

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Pork Ribs with Dry Rub and Tarted Up Barbecue Sauce

Rub Recipe
(Makes enough rub for a 2 1/2 to 3 1/3 lb. rack of pork loin/baby back ribs)

1 1/2 Tbs. New Mexico Chile Powder (Hatch Medium works well)
1 1/2 t. kosher sale
1 t. garlic powder
1 t. onion powder
1 Tbs. dark brown sugar
1/2 t. ground / crushed allspice

Pork Dry Rub

Rib Recipe
Total time: approximate 4 hours

1 2 1/2 lb to 3 1/2 lb rack of pork loin/baby back ribs
2 handfuls wood chips for smoking (mesquite or hickory)

2 hours before starting the cooking process, apply the rub to the ribs (you may increase the time up to 6 hours)

Ribs with Rub

1/2 hour before starting the cooking process, soak two handfuls of wood chips in water.

Soaking Wood Chips

Using either a gas grill with a smoker box or a charcoal grill, ignite the fire and let the temperature come up to 300º using only half of the gas burners (for gas) or half of the coal area (for charcoal). Place the ribs on the grill, meat side up, but off of direct heat.

Cook covered for gas or charcoal. Regulate heat so that it stays at 300º for the entire cooking process: approximate 2 hours until the ribs are fully cooked, but it is your decision about what constitutes done. Note that the ribs will tell you by pulling back from the tip, exposing the bone for the first 1/2 inch or so (you may need to inspect the back) to see this.

Cooked Ribs

Apply, if desired, the Tarted Up Barbecue Saute to the meat side, still off heat, for 5 minutes. Turn ribs, meat side down, onto the heat side, and baste back of ribs. Continue cooking covered for another 5 minutes.

Remove from the grill, then cut and serve with additional barbecue sauce.

Cut Ribs

Tarted Up Barbecue Sauce

1/2 c. tomato-based barbecue sauce
2 Tbl. soy sauce
2 Tb. chile garlic sauce

Tarted Up Barbecue Sauce

Mix all ingredients together and let stand 30 minutes before using. Enough for 1 rack of ribs with extra sauce for dipping.

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Aphorisms

Writing is an activity whose principal purpose is to demonstrate to yourself and others how fuzzy your thinking is.

Out of the mouths of babes comes generally spittle and half-masticated carrots.

A bird in the hand is a pretty messy affair, especially for the bird.

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Thinking Too Hard About The Poem “Your Teeth”

The attempt here appears to be for a casual poem of perhaps slightly humorous bent, with a repeated final stanza line with the trochee “don’t show”. The poem progresses from an initial declaration of love and affection, based on a characteristic of physiognomy of the beholden, through the growth of that love over time, to the possibility of progeny, provided, of course, that they exhibit the same comely characteristics as the beloved.

The poem then turns darker, as the opportunity of impediments and events that could cloud the relationship are introduced, but are temporally triumphed over by a smile that does not compromise the parting of the lips.

In the last stanza, the reader is shown the end-state of the beloved. Here, “eyes aglow”, the beloved departs, smiling, lips ever together. This is at distinct opposition to the usual death mask: eyes closed, and mouth in a grinning rictus. What at first appears to be quiet parting farewell, is in fact a spooky commentary on the whole of the poem: the unbroken failure to display teeth at the end marks an uncanny presence, and leaves the reader both satisfying but slightly ashiver at the same time. What has begun in innocent faith and pleasure, ends in at least mock horror of the Other.

And thus, the poetic truth that emerges from this seemingly inconsequential set of stanzas is not that love and affection triumphs over all, but that a toothless smile invites into the discussion a counter warning by the grim reaper.

So that’s what results from Thinking Too Hard about the poem Your Teeth: a mortal warning about the dangers of a toothless smile. And should you care to compare the “you” of this poem, let’s be clear on one thing: the “you” here does not refer to my wife, whose teeth do show when she smiles. Quite brilliantly, in fact.

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Your Teeth

I love you, dear,
For this I know:
That when you smile,
Your teeth don’t show.

Past many years,
Our love will grow
Your lovely smile
And teeth don’t show.

Yes, children, too
May life bestow
Just please be sure
Their teeth don’t show.

Travails may come,
And deep sorrow,
Throughout it all
Your teeth don’t show.

And at the end,
Your eyes aglow,
Your precious smile
And teeth don’t show.

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Oyster

Craggy, rough-hewn shell.
The knife twists with a pivot,
Flesh, juice, briny, sweet.

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Ketchup Updated With Visuals

An updated version, this time with visuals. Two minor changes (addition of weight and adjustment of cooking time) have been made. They have been highlighted in bold.

3 lbs. Roma tomatoes
2 cups apple cider vinegar
4 tsp. kosher salt
1 tsp. ground white pepper
1 cup dark brown sugar (5 oz.)
1 tsp. Worcester sauce
1 white onion, peeled, but kept whole

Peel, seed, and chop tomatoes.

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Put all ingredients except Worcester sauce together in an 2 quart pot,  bring to simmer then simmer for 50 – 60 minutesuncovered.

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Remove from heat and remove onion. Let cool for about 30 minutes.

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Put into the most powerful blender you own, and blend on high for about one minute, adding a little apple cider vinegar if too thick. Add Worcester sauce to blender and pulse to blend.

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Bottle and store in fridge, or can using hot bath method for longer storage. Yield: about 3-4 cups per batch.

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Will give Heinz a run for its money.

Variations

You may vary the taste by adjusting/adding seasonings, however, adjustments may cause a change in the color.

Here’s a Southeast Asian variation:

To the basic recipe:

Add 2 – 4 red Thai Chiles
Add 2 additional TB brown sugar for each addition of 4 chiles
Substitute rice vinegar for apple cider vinegar
Substitute 2 TB fish sauce for Worcester sauce

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Aphorisms

The insufferable suffer themselves all too gladly.

Shingles and post-polio syndrome: just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in.

Teenage girls and bond traders: poster children for Twitter, microblogging, and ADD?

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