RBS. No, that’s not Royal Bank of Scotland, despite what you may have heard. That’s what my wife and I call Rapid Brain Syndrome, a phenomena that drives sleep from our heads and occasionally us from our beds.

So you wake up in the middle of the night. Maybe you have to pee. Maybe you’ve got an upset tummy. Whatever. But awake you are, and suddenly you’re working through the events of the last day, reviewing work that lies ahead for tomorrow, contemplating why you’re having trouble with your weight, trying to think through a solution to that technical issue that has been nagging you the last day or two, frustrated by a colleague at work, frustrated by your boss, upset at the absolute dunderheads you’re forced to deal with at work who prize process over product and can’t image any problem that can’t be solved by adding more steps, reviews, and meetings. And so on. You get the picture. You’re stuck in a hamster wheel of your own devising, and sleep is now completely the last thing on your mind.

Except of course that it’s 3 AM, and so it is on your mind. You need your sleep, why are you lumbering about with all these crazy thoughts? RBS is killing your night. I’m going to wake up tired (you tell yourself), or, worse, you worry you’ll fall asleep again just before you’re scheduled to get up. The alarm will go off, and you’ll arise with a thick head that no amount of caffeine can touch until about noon. What misery!

Now my wife occasionally meets this challenge by getting up! She’ll go out in the study and maybe knit or read for a bit, until the RBS has subsided, and then go back to bed and then to sleep. This often works for her, but me, if I did this, I’d have to arise, put on my long johns, strap on my heavy metal and a shoe, and hell, by this time, I’d be wide await and would never go back to sleep.

So I lie in bed and roll — right side, then back, then left side, then a flip back right, over and over again until I do fall asleep, eventually, at some point, perhaps, as feared just before the alarm goes off (in winter) or the sun begins to rise (in summer).

And to what purpose? What to do to make a failing of proper sleep habits work to our advantage?

On the best of nights, for me, RBS can lead to productive thinking when properly focused. First off, to solve the conundrum of sleep, I try to use RBS to meet a specific challenge. Hell, I’m more or less awake, so I might as well float on about something.

So what can you think about? For myself, I often solve technical issues I’ve been working through as an IT developer. This can be a time for thought/insight separated from the demands and annoyances of the day. Other concerns in my life can creep in. A poem I wrote for this blog, Oyster, was largely written and refined at 3 in the morning, finishing touches put in place by the light of the next day.

What to avoid? Rehashing of past wounds — can’t be undone, does no good. Rages against the stupidity of some work situation — won’t be solved as those who manage are perfectly happy with the status quo else it wouldn’t be quo. Remember: there is a reason things are as they are. Find the lever outside yourself or let it pass.

So can I take my own advice? Sometimes. And sometimes I can just sleep through till dawn.